Stress. Just reading the word can raise a person’s blood pressure. It’s hard to pinpoint just what, exactly, stress is. A dictionary will define stress as a state of mental or emotional strain arising from adverse circumstances. Still, how do you know when, exactly, you’re experiencing stress? How do you measure anxiety, or worry? After all, if our goal is to find a cure for stress, shouldn’t we fully understand it?
It’d be easy to write a list of all the bad news about stress, but the goal here is to offer cures for anxiety, not heap more on you. Suffice it to say, stress is rampant in our lives and perhaps the major contributing factor in the majority of diseases.
Before getting to some real specifics on how to cope with stress and worry and anxiety, let’s review some of the basics. For example, exercise. Even a simple 20 minute walk every day can do wonders for your body, especially the cardiovascular system. Exercise not only relieves stress, it also better conditions the body to cope with the negative effects of anxiety. Similarly, eating healthier also goes a long way to reduce stress. Why? Because eating unhealthy is directly stressful on the body. Saturated fats, especially, are particularly stressful on the vascular system. And yet eating poorly has another, more subtle detrimental effect: It is stressful because we *know* it’s bad for us. We know we are causing harm to our bodies, and this -- even if only deeply in our subconscious -- is extremely stressing. So, it’s a cliche worth repeating: Eat right and exercise.
Let’s examine the process of worry in more detail. Worrying is essentially fantasizing about possible (and usually improbable) outcomes which are perceived to be bad. And that’s a vitally important point: Perceived to be bad. If it rains on your wedding day, is that really such a horrendous thing, in comparison with, say, the plight of the people in Sudan? If the movie is sold out, what’s the worst thing that will happen? The goal here is to ask yourself: Are the outcomes I’m obsessing over truly that horrendous? Inevitably, the honest answer will be no. Inevitably, but not always. Sometimes, we can envision a gruesome outcome to certain What if scenarios. But death unfortunately is a part of life, and all you can do is live as healthy as possible and avoid unnecessary risks.
Worrying is insidious, because most people worry about things they cannot control: What if it rains tomorrow? What if the movie is sold out? What if the stock market goes down? The point here is that it’s ok to have contingencies. After all, if you’re planning a picnic and it indeed rains, it’s a good idea to have a backup plan. Preparing is smart. Worrying isn’t. So here’s the solution again. Be prepared in the event of any likely, negative contingencies. Make a list, even. Write down your backup plans. But once you’ve prepared for any probably complications, release all that worry.
The idea of writing down one’s worries can be very helpful for some people. Just the simple act of writing them often gives the worrier the feeling of empowerment. They can see it, and they can envision solutions. If you tend to worry about the littlest details of your life, try keeping a journal of them. Write down the things each day that worry you the most, and resolve to deal with each issue the following day. But here is the key: Don’t dwell on them as you try to sleep. You wrote them down, and you’ll take care of them tomorrow. They are not worries anymore, but simply issues to be resolved.
Another cause of stress is that people tend to live beyond their means. We buy a house or a car -- or both -- that we can’t really afford. That, is indeed stressful. So what happens? We push ourselves harder at work, which usually means more hours per week. But did you really need that new car? Do you really need a 3000 square foot home, or could you have managed with 2000? The cure here is to make a budget, and stick to it. There are no hard and fast rules, but it’s safe to say that the bigger your cushion, that is, the more money you have left over after all your bills have been paid, the less financial stress you’ll feel. Your neighbor may have a larger house, and your friend may have a nicer car, but you’ll be the one feeling relaxed knowing that your bills are paid, and you have money left over for a vacation.
A final way to combat stress is to either make new friends, or strengthen bonds with older ones. Either way, the goal is to socialize more. It’s a powerful effect to be with others who seemingly have more to worry about in their lives than you do, and yet carry themselves in a relaxed, stress-free way. And be sure to talk with your friends about your fears and worries. Friends offer words of comfort, give insight into new ways to cope with possible contingencies, and above all they commiserate... “Oh, you know, the same thing happened to me two years ago, but it wasn’t so bad at all.”
Increasing the time with friends has another important effect on stress: It takes away worry time. If after following all the above advice you still find yourself worrying, well, by spending time with friends, that means you’re spending less time alone with your worries. We are, after all, social creatures, and the more isolation we experience, even if we aren’t directly worrying during that time, the more stress we put on our psyche.
So eat right, exercise, make contingency plans, write down your specific issues that need to be resolved, live within your means, and spend time with friends. Follow these few basic steps and you’ll be living a much less stressful life.